Have you been through tough times and now you’re finally ready to start living your best life after 40? Here are 6 basic steps to start your new great journey.
Sometimes things happen in life that can change you and those around you forever. But it’s how you deal with what life throws at you that will show you who you are.
The way you handle challenges in the practical sense and how you process them internally will depend on the perspective you adopt to view the situation and on where you place your focus.
It’s easy to view the situation as damagingly unfair, dwell on the past, and get stuck wondering what might have been.
But it can also ruin your future.
- 1. Get Ready For Your Best Life Ever: Appreciate That You’re Still Here
- 2. Ground Yourself in Present by Practicing Gratefulness
- 3. Accepting Negativity as Valuable Lessons Will Prepare You For the Finer Life
- What To Do With Negative Relationships?
- 4. Stay Motivated by Learning to See a Brighter Future
- 5. Plan for Your Best Life Ever with a List of Goals
- 6. Safeguard Your Future Peace by Distancing Yourself from Toxic People
- Self Love Program
Here are some ways you can cultivate your well-being by focusing on your future, not on your past.
1. Get Ready For Your Best Life Ever: Appreciate That You’re Still Here
When it comes to reflecting on past events, there’s one thing that you can always find some appreciation for:
You’re still here.
That means that whatever has come before, whether a massive obstacle or defeat, that event didn’t end you. You’re still here, and that’s proof of how resilient you can be.
‘’Yes, I’m a little bruised, slightly broken, and permanently scarred but I’m still here, aren’t I? I’m still fighting, I’m still waking up every day to go through it all over again. This life may be as hard as hell but it’s still a gift and I’m going to live every moment of it.’’
Unknown
It’s important to realize that living creatures are remarkably good at overcoming adversity. It’s a pure survival instinct. Whatever you find yourself up against, you can come out on top. The fact that you can read this right now is a testimony to that.
So hold on to that thought.
The next step is to try to find more things that you can be happy about.
2. Ground Yourself in Present by Practicing Gratefulness
The first step to really getting grounded and centered is for you to spend some time focusing on what you are grateful for.
There are lots of ways to do this, but one of the best is to write a gratitude journal. This is such a simple yet effective technique and I cannot recommend it enough.
Amongst the ever-increasing demands and complexities we face, forever chasing ambition and desires, we lose sight of things that we already have. Valuable things.
‘’Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.’’
Ernest Hemingway
So pause and write down everything that you have, everything that goes well, everything you’ve accomplished, everything that is available to you right now. Then pick ten to fifteen things that bring you joy and make a list of them a few times a week.
Each time I bemoan my life, I look at my list, and I am surprised at how rich I am. How lucky I am. How privileged I am.
After you’ve completed the list, seeing your assets and achievements on plain paper will set your mind to thinking about the good things in your life instead of the things you wish you had.
3. Accepting Negativity as Valuable Lessons Will Prepare You For the Finer Life
It can be really frustrating when you put time and effort into certain relationships only to find that the person or persons were never what or who they said they were.
Similarly, it’s infuriating to have invested in a career, a project, something you really wanted and believed in, only to find it’s not working at all.
This can be extremely jarring, and it might take a long for you to get over it, but the more effort you make to tackle the disappointment, the happier you will be in the long run.
‘’When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find out inner strength. Thanks to the teachings of Buddha, I have been able to take this second way.’’
Dalai Lama
What To Do With Negative Relationships?
The healthiest way to look at dysfunctional relationships or a negative experience is to treat them the way you would treat them as powerful lessons. They’re not always the most pleasant, but you can take what you learned about people in that situation and use it to protect yourself from similar happenings in the future.
This doesn’t mean that you color every interaction with other people with the same feelings towards them as the people you encountered in the past.
It’s more about awareness and avoiding giving people the same kind of unchecked power over you and your emotions.
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue that job because you’ve been rejected so many times.
But it does mean that with each failure you are closer to your goal and you have plenty of material to analyze and learn from your mistakes.
This doesn’t mean you should avoid challenges. It means not giving your desire to get something the power to turn your life upside down if things don’t work out.
Because being completely frozen with fear and building a wall around yourself will be counterproductive.
Keep an open heart and mind but protect them too!
4. Stay Motivated by Learning to See a Brighter Future
When you start to see yourself and your future in a more positive light, it’s a lot easier to see possibilities that can be open to you.
Instead of thinking about where things went wrong, you can choose to use past experiences to prepare you for things that can go wrong and be ready for them instead of being taken by surprise.
‘’Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.’’
Willie Nelson
When you have a more positive outlook on things, it’s a lot easier to attract more positive things in life. Some call it the law of attraction. However, I think it’s the discipline of self-regulation that brings about good things.
Because by practicing gratitude for disappointments and failures as powerful valuable lessons, you’ll reinforce the positive outlook. You’ll be able to spot possibilities and opportunities that you missed before. Because before, your clouded mind was blind to goodness.
So you’ve committed to making a few positive changes in life that can help you achieve goals. Now it’s important to figure out how to lay the path that allows you to get there.
5. Plan for Your Best Life Ever with a List of Goals
In order to make your goals more solid for yourself, it’s a really good idea to try making a list. Yes, I know, another list!
Ok, it doesn’t have to be a list…
This time write, jot, type, doodle, draw, scribble, scrapbook, create a vision board!
Anything that will remind you of what you want to get, where you want to be, who you want to become.
This will be your roadmap of sorts.
It may be jumbled chaos to begin with, but gradually you can add, take away, adjust, refine, and put the goals into an order of most important to least important so that you know what you should be spending most of your time pursuing.
Look at it every day.
‘’A bright future beckons. The onus is on us, through hard work, honesty, and integrity, to reach for the stars.’’
Nelson Mandela
The more focused on your goals you become, the better you become at generating the motivation to make a move forward, one step at a time. The visual representation of your goals will motivate you to take the necessary action to achieve them.
6. Safeguard Your Future Peace by Distancing Yourself from Toxic People
This might prove the hardest step. A lot of people, especially women, tie their worth to the relationships they have even when the people in their lives aren’t the most positive or supportive people.
‘’Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.’’
Mandy Hale
This can be a huge impediment to progress, both professionally and personally. Assess each relationship you have and determine if those in your circle – family, friends, colleagues – have been toxic, self-esteem damaging people, or if they’ve been good, uplifting friends that have helped you to see yourself in a healthier way.
Is your cousin a chronic nay-sayer? Does your friend come crying to you, demanding your attention but never has the time to deal with you when you’re down? Is your partner constantly putting you down?
Well, maybe it’s time for them to take a hike.
Coz you’ve got important stuff to do.
Week 5 Summary:
- Appreciate you’re still here
- Practice gratitude
- Look at negative experiences as lessons you’ve graduated from
- Practice positive outlook
- Set goals
- Get rid of toxic people
Self Love Program
Self-Love Week 1: 6 Simple and Affordable Ways To Start Practising Self-Love
Self-Love Week 2: 5 Ways to Build a Positive Relationship With Yourself
Self-Love Week 3: How To Treat Your Body With Kindness And Feel Happier
Self-Love Week 4: How To Have a Great Day Every Day? Wake Up Early To Avoid Panic and Meltdowns!
Self-Love Week 5: Start Living Your Best Life Now: Focus On Your Future, Not The Past
Self-Love Week 6: 5 Benefits of Positive Self-Talk For Life Change
Self-Love Week 7: How To Create a Daily Self-Care Ritual
Self-Love Week 8: How to Set Life Goals for Better Future After 40
Self-Love Week 9: How to Find Your Life Purpose in 5 Minutes a Day
This article was written by Zuzana Halliwell. I am not a doctor or health professional and cannot be held liable for the information written here. This article is meant to provide information about the benefits of a lifestyle. The content is based on my own personal experience and on information provided by medical professionals that is available to the public. It is not intended to provide medical advice. Do not use it as an alternative to seeking help from a medical professional.
