Do you feel like you are spinning too many plates in the air at once?
And it’s not a one-off temporary inconvenience, is it?
You’ve been doing this since forever, haven’t you?
Quite frankly, you’ve been doing it for so long you don’t even remember when you agreed to join the circus!
They say a woman’s work is never done. A hectic schedule, combined with trying to balance other areas of your life becomes overwhelming. With each branch of responsibility perpetually sprouting its own offspring areas, our time gets devoured, our minds are littered with things to do.
With kids, family, work, chores, and the many obligations that we’re expected to fulfill, there never seems to be enough time to think about, never mind honor our own needs or desires.
For women, the massive workload combined with age-related health issues and the pressure to maintain your energy levels and appearance can lead to depression, anxiety, burnout, or just a general feeling that you are worn out.
Besides how it affects us personally, being worn out also means that your performance and attentiveness will suffer. Irritation becomes common, as we feel overwhelmed and unable to deal with the stressors of the day.
‘’This is very important – to take leisure time. Pace is the essence. Without stopping entirely and doing nothing at all for great periods, you aren’t gonna lose everything….just to do nothing at all, very, very important. And how many people do this in modern society? Very few. That’s why they’re all totally mad, frustrated, angry and hateful.’’
Charles Bukowski
Everyone is different, and each individual has different ideas about how to create personal care time.
This is a quick guide to making some ‘me’ time. The solutions below are not the only ones but may give you some ideas of how to find space and time in your life.
Utilize The Time You Have
Luckily for us, even within a busy schedule, there would typically be pockets of time that usually go to waste. If you have errands to run or appointments to keep but find yourself early or waiting around in your car, make use of the time.
Waiting in a queue, being stuck in traffic, using public transport, a cancelled appointment, waiting at the school gates…and, oh, the panicked bliss when the Internet is down! Some of has have tons of time then!
When an unexpected window opens up, read a book or practice meditation. Listen to a podcast, an audiobook, music, or just focus on breathing. Do gentle stretches, do a puzzle, jot down a few positive affirmations in your notebook.
Some of these activities require a certain amount of tranquility and peace, so why not use your window of opportunity to do this?
Alternatively, if you were in a more productive mood you could just catch up on paperwork that you have to do. This is your time; you can do with it what you wish. By carrying out this task now, you are freeing up time at a later date.
Make A Date With Yourself (And Keep It!)
Once a week, take time to do the things you like to do alone. To do this you need to learn to say no and learn to delegate your duties to someone else (mainly talking childcare here people!). This will enable you to have some time to relax.
No matter how busy you are and what’s going on in your life, you can book at least one hour for yourself per week.
Make it clear to everyone that this is your hour, and you won’t be doing anything else for anyone else, and you’re not to be disturbed. If you set a regular time for yourself, they will get used to it.
Go and grab a drink somewhere, get some exercise, or even just disappear to another part of the house. Anything you can think of to do that would enable you to free up space in that busy head of yours.
Treat Yourself
You would think that these tips on finding ‘me’ time would be obvious. However, spare time is in short supply.
A 2014 UK study looking at working mothers found 51% of them went weeks without relaxing on their own. When further questioned, nearly 75% of the 2000 women felt they lived their whole lives for other people.
Some women are lucky enough to have partners and family to rely on to take the strain; others are not so fortunate. However, making time for your self-care is important, especially if you’re running a one-woman show.
Self-pampering enables you to relax. And relaxation is crucial in stress management. When physically and emotionally comfortable, you’ll be able to handle everyday challenges with more ease.
Once a month, go treat yourself. A spa day, a massage, a facial, getting your hair done, a tattoo (if that’s your cup of tea), or even just spending time in nature. Go and see the great outdoors, spend a day cycling, staring at the sky, doing nothing.
Doing nothing, by the way, is not lazy. It is an ingenious tactic to induce relaxation while tricking your brain into thinking that you are doing things. My preferred method of relaxing without feeling guilty.
Learn to Say No
As women, we are conditioned to be pleasers. I am yet to meet a woman who was not raised a people pleaser. The ‘’Thanks, but no thanks’’ attitude does not come easily to many of us. The road to assertiveness is paved with poorly invested time, missed opportunities, and regrets.
But as we mature, we perceive the passing of time more intensely. Every moment becomes precious. We also recognize timewasters. We give more consideration to what we spend our time on, who we spend it with, and how we spend it.
”No” means setting boundaries and limiting what you will or are willing to do in a single day or week. This may mean having to say no to some things, but considering how much your wellness matters, it may be well worth it.
People think you’re a selfish bitch?
Yes, you are.
And it’s really good for you.
Be Organized
By planning your day and week you can identify opportunities for ‘me’ time. Making lists and looking at the week ahead will help you to see those times where gaps appear in your schedule. The organization is the key.
The more you practice organizing, the more you’ll be able to identify the windows and you will learn where you can fit things in.
Jot down a list of things you want to do for yourself next week, whether it’s a treat, a relaxing activity, or a little pick-me-up activity.
Next time there’s an unexpected opening in your schedule, don’t go filling it with another errand.
Take a look at your list and spend that free time doing one of the activities on it.
A cancelled appointment?
Take a walk. On that walk, take a look at the world around you.
We live in a beautiful world. Whether it is a flower or a smile on a person’s face or the breeze playing with your hair. It is all there for us, you just need to relax and be able to see it.
